"You Always Hurt the Ones You Love"

"Why must love be so complicated?"

 Usually this was the question I would ask myself, but it has come to the point where I now ask myself, "Why must you be so complicated with love?". Lately these days, I have been analyzing myself more than ever. I feel like each day I discover something new that I either need to recognize or change. Recently it's been my fear of becoming closer to this particular male "friend". 

In the past, I've been hurt by many male "friends". Yes, I admit that I have hurt them as well, but each time I was hurt it left a permanent scar. I was hurt by many people, including close friends, and watching my own parents deal with their own relationship problems also took a toll on me. I do not know why I keep reminding myself to keep a guard up towards my male "friend". After all, I know in my heart he is everything and more to me, but I cannot come to terms with that. 

To whoever is reading this, learn from my mistakes. Do not let the past affect something good in your present. Before you know it, it may be too late and you will be in a continuing cycle of losing things because of fear.  I do not want to lose what I have right now nor do I want to fear anymore.

Moneygrabber

So a couple days ago, I was working in the Cafe department of our store. A man with a strong Italian accent came up and ordered a drink. His total was $2.38, but he gave me $10.38. I figured he just wanted a solid $8 back. As the oven timer went off, I left the man counting his money. When I came back to the register, I took his $10.38. All of sudden, (with his strong accent) he goes, "No, wait". He puts one finger out indicating me to wait as he pulled out more cash. I thought I was going to get a tip because some customers like to do that. As the man pulls out $2 I thought "Aw, how sweet! I am going to get a tip". As I tell the man "Oh thank you! Is that for me?, he gives me a puzzled look. So I go, "Is that for me like a tip?". The man very sternly says, "No! This for my coffee. Give me ten dollar back". My happy face quickly turned into a very embarrassed one as I gave the man his $10 back and took the $2.

Lesson of the day: Don't expect more out of someone if you are not aware of how much they can give.

"You Were Changing Colors Like Leaves in the Fall"

Hi. My name is Alyssa Piwowarski and creating this blog today was not on my list of things to do today.

To be honest (which I promise to always be honest on this blog) is I really had an eye opening event that changed my insight about many things. Let just say that I have a personality to always get things done and will do anything in my power to get it done. However, when I am in desperate need of a break; I don't stop. It's like an addiction to get things the way I want it. I know, it sounds selfish. I admit I have been selfish. I've always told people that it is okay to make mistakes, when really even I wasn't taking my own advice. After realizing that I am taking on so much for myself, it all fell apart. I need to BREATHE. I need to not take life for granted. Most of all I need to enjoy what I have now and be extremely thankful. I have an awful habit of thinking for the future, instead of living in the moment.Yes, it is good to prepare for the future for certain situations, but it is not good when it starts to control your life. And that's why I came upon you Mr. Blog. (I've decided you're a guy). I want to share the lessons I learn through daily life in hopes that if even I cannot take my own advice, maybe others will.

So lets start this again...

Hi. My name is Alyssa Piwowarski and it is time for some change.